Friday Futon - Eternal Flame

Sometimes I dream about what it would be like to live on an island somewhere. It probably wouldn’t be all Tom Hanks and that volleyball, but more like Jack and Kate minus the smoke monster. I’d probably have a pretty nice pad too. You know, all wired up with some 100MB connection via that under-ocean cable/internet thing. People would visit, and they’d ask me, hey, what’s your favorite part of the island? And I would say, I have so many favorite parts, it’s hard to say. And then I’d turn it on them, so, what’s your favorite part of Modesto? The downtown part? And right as they started feeling all lame for living in Modesto, I’d tell them all about my new web app: Twitter meets Facebook for bi-curious seniors.

After I gave them a tour of all the awesome parts that I didn’t previously mention, I’d invite them to an evening of Karaoke, hosted by Jack Bauer. They would probably want to sing some Katy Perry song, but not Katy Perry’s parts, just Snoop Dogg’s. The locals would hang their heads in shame, I just know it. That is, until I got up to the mic. Mic check. Mic check. Boom, what’s that? The Bengals. Eternal Flame. The locals go wild. It would be all Desert Storm for the tourists - shock and awe. Especially when I hit that high note:

An eternal flaaaaaaaaaame!

As everyone looked to Jack Bauer to see his reaction to me NAILING the falsetto, they’d catch him mouthing the words to me, “You make me a better man.” At which point I would kinda fling my hair out of my face as if to say, yeah, that just happened.