Friday Futon - Winner

In order to be a winner, you have to think like a winner. I can think of no better place to start than by legally changing your name to Winner. This projects to others that you are in fact, a winner. I began this process myself, changing my name to Winner, Winner Peterson.

At the Official Name Changing Application Office, ONCAO, I filled out my application and turned it in to the lovely ONCAO receptionist. She reviewed it for completion, reading aloud as she went along.

Age: 31.

Residence: California.

New name: Wiener Peterson.

Ouch.