Friday Futon - The Origin of the Futon

Inquiring minds want to know, where did the Motherfuton™ come from?  

Good question.  I will answer this now.  

It came from my brain.

You know what else came from my brain?  Locking differentials for off-roading vehicles.  Granted, all that crap came long after it had already been invented, but just the fact that my knowledge was there before I knew that it even existed is really something that you could write home about.  It almost got me into Las Vegas City College.

Sadly, none of that has to do with the origins of the Futon.  It actually came about during the Summer of Noah™.  (An epic summer filled with Australian rugby and sleeping on a futon next to a screen less window next door to a neighbor who had a daily ritual of coughing fits and another neighbor who was able to pleasure his girlfriend quite capably.  That last part of that last sentence should be edited for young children.  I’m not sure you want your kids reading about neighbor.  We didn’t know his name, so we called him neighbor.  Talking to people isn’t a strong suit, so you can see why not knowing his name wouldn’t be odd, but rather normal. Also the futon that I mentioned earlier, the one I was sleeping on, that too has nothing to do with the origins of the Futon.)

Summer of Noah.  1997.  All the ladies wanted us.  By us, I mean my roomate and myself.  All the men wanted to be us.  The Most Interesting Man In The World (Dos Eqius), that guy was based on the Summer of Noah.  So was the movie, Jerry McGuire.  We walked the streets of the small town of San Luis Obispo, talking to ourselves.  It was during one of these days that we met Karen O, from the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s.  She wasn’t in the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s yet, in fact, the band hadn’t even been formed.  But she came to us, as if in a dream, and said, you motherfuton’s are the most interesting-est people in the world.  Or something to that effect.  I can quite remember, because I was trying to get my unicorn under control.  Rebba had been startled by the rather large 1976 Bronco that had driven by, and was rearing her hind legs.  At that moment, it struck me.  If that Bronco ever got stuck in the mud, locking the differential would enable it better traction to free itself without the need for a second vehicle to pull it out.  Hence, locking differentials was born.

I admit, some of that story was made up.  Take it for what it is, but just know that Motherfuton lives on.  Viva Motherfuton, viva carne asada.